Sunday, January 16, 2011

2010-Greatest hits

        The beginning of a new year always feels like the perfect time to do some reflecting on the year past and the one to come.  2010 was a pretty huge year for me, with graduation and me entering the "real world" for a whole 3 months (long enough for me to realize I wanted nothing to do with it) and my subsequent (and not unrelated) trip to Guatemala.  While the first part of the year was very important for me, it is undoubtedly not of interest to you, my fine reader, who traversed thousands of bytes of internet information to arrive at this page in search of stories about my latest experiences and jinxes in Guatemala.  After all, how would stories about my life in Minnesota fit in a blog titles "Adam Between Oceans"?...
     Anyways, I've been in Guatemala four months now.  A fact that surprises me every day.  It amazes me both that the time has gone so fast and that I have fit so much into the short 4 months I have been here.  I've now begun my second English class, which meets Tuesday and Thursday, completing the 5 day English class cycle.  I'm working on some projects at the Ciudad de Felicidad and, although the Hospital idea crashed, and the garden took a nose dive, it's been good to be able to do some good work there, and at least playing with the kids is always fun.  Starting next week, the third week in 2011, I will be helping in San Benito's high school with English classes (and maybe math and physics?) and, as always, I'm having fun in the library and the orange orchard.  It actually amazes me that, though I haven't accomplished a whole lot, I've been incredibly successful at making myself busy in a monastery where my only real obligation is to pray twice a day. 
     That being said, I would like to use this blog to write some of the memories I have accumulated over the past 4 months into the internet history books.  I'll try to make this more interesting than just a lame old journal entry, but if I fail, please accept my apologies.  

Slang
Slang is an interesting thing.  Every culture has it, it changes drastically from place to place, and it gives some great great local flavor to the dialect of a place.  As far as I can tell, slang first came about when everybody in a certain family, town, city, region, country, or continent decide that some nonsense word will henceforth mean something else or, even worse, that a perfectly fine word should take on a new, often more sinister, meaning; and there you have it, new slang is born (holy long sentence batman!).  I remember in grade school, one student decided that erasers should be slang for breasts.  It made no sense, but there you have it.  
     While I was in Chile I found special pleasure in seeking out new slang to use with my gringo friends to make us feel more like Chileans.  It was a fun game that left me speaking an interesting 50/50 mix of Spanish and Chilean street slang after my 4 months there.  This turned out to be less of a fun game and more of a curse when I returned home to college Spanish classes where I was barely able to communicate with the other, less jaded students.   Sadly, this Chilean slang curse has followed me from the shores of South America to Guatemala where, instead of the fun game I once found it to be, slang has become a matter of survival.  I constantly catch myself accidentally slipping some Chilean slang into my dialect or worse, only knowing the Chilean word for a certain object, and being completely unable to communicate my idea.  The following is a list of Guatemalan slang that I have picked up in my time here, and that you might find useful if one day you find yourself in the land of eternal spring.

Pupusa
     At dinner one night a monk offered me what I have come to know as an "empanada."  He explained to me that this particular "empanada" was from Honduras, where they (besides being far better than the Guatemalan kind) are called "pupusas."  The next day I went to watch the posada with a student from my class (who happens to be a very attractive female) and afterward, she suggested that we eat some empanadas at a place I know called "Pupuseria Sinai."  Wanting to show off how cultured I am, I asked her if she liked eating "pupusas," which kind of "pupusas" she prefers, and if she likes “pupusas” with salsa, because I often find they are too dry without salsa.  I literally fit the word "pupusa" into that sentence 3 times.  She looked at me funny and said that, here, they are called empanadas.  The next day I come to find out that here, a mere 10 km from Honduras, pupusa means something completely different.... it is slang for the female reproductive organ.  
Chulo
     Does NOT mean ugly or out of fashion.  It actually means cool or nice.  Don't believe me?  See my first  AWFLE
Baluk/Cuñado
     A favorite of the monks here.  Cuñado mean brother in law in spanish, and Baluk is the translation in Quiché, a local dialect.  They like to call people brother in law as a joke, insinuating that they are married to your sister.  They don't seem to be bothered by the fact that they have taken vows of celibacy and I haven't, meaning that the only logical reason to call me brother in law is if I am married to their sisters...
Puchika
     Sounds pretty bad huh?  Actually just means something akin to "shoot" or "darn."  The first time I heard the Abbott say this I was taken a bit off guard.  
Enculado
     A vulgar way of saying "in love."  Some friends and I changed the words to a popular song to include this, but they conveniently forgot to tell me that it is not a nice word.  Too bad for them that they were not around to laugh when I unwittingly began singing our edited version of the song in the orphanage where I work...

Editing
     From what I have seen, Latin Americans do not believe in editing radio/tv shows.  This can lead to some uncomfortable moments if you're not careful.  For example, listening to the radio in a restaurant when a certain song from a few years back by Eamon came on the radio ("I don't want you back").  For those who don't remember it, on the USA radio stations it sounded something like "F*** what you said it don't mean S*** now... F*** you you B**** I don't want you back."  Needless to say, without editing, it sounded a little different here. Now, I'm willing to accept the possibility that I was probably the only fluent English speaker there so there's a decent chance that nobody else was put off by the whiny self-pitying lyrics.  However, I personally believe that, thanks to movies, music, and the internet, everybody in the world knows the meaning of all 7 of the words that George Carlin is not allowed to say on television.   Therefore, I think that maybe they couldv'e picked a better song for a family restaurant.  That being said, throughout the entire song, not one person in the entire place batted an eye at the radio.  
     Another interesting  nmoment came when I was watching TV in the TV room.  I was mindlessly flipping channels when the Abbott walked in.  As soon as he entered I began talking to him with the TV tuned to a channel showing a movie starring Ashton Kutcher.  After some small talk between the Abbott and me, I handed him the remote and we turned our eyes to the TV (to watch the movie that he thought I had been watching all night) just as a scene in a strip club came on.  Thanks to the wondrous lack of editing in Guatemala, what ensued was a sort of awkward-off as both of us tried not to seem uncomfortable at the really astounding number of boobs in this scene.  He thought I was watching the movie, so he didn't want to change the channel, and I didn't want to make an already awkward situation SUPER awkward by talking, or leaving, or moving, or even breathing.  So we sat in absolute uncomfortable silence for the duration of the scene.  Thankfully it ended in a fight, allowing me to make my escape from the room on a manly note.

Animals
     Esquipulas is a smaller town on the East side of Guatemala:  A side that has more than once been compared to the Wild West.  From the prevalence of cowboy boots, hats and belt buckles, to the unbelievable number of people who walk around toting a 6 shooter (or sawed off shotgun… I hear those were popular in the Wild West too), the analogy is somewhat apt.  It also turns out to be an apt analogy when talking about animals.  They enjoy a freedom here which their cousins in the USA  rarely experience.  I'll admit, the first time I saw barn-fulls of animals walking freely around the streets here, this little gringo from the Twin Cities Minnesota was a bit taken aback.  From cows shutting down highways to 8 year old boys leading entire packs of bulls down the street, in terms of animal freedom, Esquipulas has earned the distinction of Wild Wild East in my book.

Goats
     Aside from walking in packs down the streets, I once had one attend my English class.  He just waltzed right on in, and I think he would’ve stayed if the other students hadn’t kicked him out.
Cows
     Cows always make for some fun stories.  From my first day in Guatemala when a herd of cows shut down the main highway and we had to wait in the car until they passed, to the soccer game that was stopped when the herd of cows decided that they would like to graze on the field, cows and Guatemala have a long and storied past.  Including this guy, who just wanted to come inside for lunch.
Chickens
     Chickens are well loved in Guatemala.  By far the most consumed animal (chicken goes well with black beans), they are almost all free range.  And not like the “free range” in the United States where that is just a sticker on the more expensive chicken.  There are chickens everywhere here… just running around freely.  Ever heard of “chicken buses?”  They’re called that because many people bring their chickens on board with them. They are like house pets that you eat.

     That's about all I got for the greatest hits of Guatemala 2010.  My first few months here in Guatemala have been some very interesting and full months.  I have learned an incredible amount, seen some really cool things, and met some great people.  I only hope that the next few months are as interesting and full as the past few. 


No comments:

Post a Comment